Just type in your email address below. This is challenging as a parent because they really haven’t earned the right to have this kind of freedom and they will probably mess it up because of their immaturity. To help do this you must love them yourself. You may wonder if God has given you more than you can handle. Okay, now here are 3 more practical tips for Christians parenting a rebellious teenager. Discipline your rebellious child. Hi Aaron, you can find the book on Amazon. Submit the form below to have someone follow up with you: Get your free "5 Mistakes Churches Make" Resource! It's completely free - my gift to you. Jot down important biblical truths God impresses on you. Parents are certainly called to help shape behavior, keep their teenagers safe, and make sure they are staying in line. That is going to backfire on A LOT of men. Tragically, rebellion is worsening! But you must learn to respect them like an adult. He tempts your children to hate you! So in this video and article I will try to share what I remember feeling when I was in that season. Would they think you are actually the one out of control? Over and over I tell him he has to get a job. Other parents of children, from early childhood to young adulthood, have also dealt with rebellion. I’ve analyzed Absalom’s life and I’ve come to some conclusions and I thank God I’ve never had to deal with a rebellious child. It instructs and convicts. Your teenager is a human, and no human wants to be told what to believe or how to live their life. These godly responses toward a rebellious child may sound impossible. As a Christian parenting a rebellious teenager, this must be our starting point too. Ironically, if you allow your love to smother and smash their freedom to be human and make their own choices, they will probably just rebel more. After they cool off they will see your point a lot faster if you didn’t yell back at them. Please do not let its familiarity blow by you. Even if they were wrong about the particulars and you really were right, it matters how you are delivering your message. But you have to find ways to allow them to make their own choices, and this is never as important than when it comes to their own walk with God. Help and Hope for Parents”. If we’re talking about a rebellious teenager who is a believer, you appeal to them with the truth of God’s Word, and to their new nature. Adolescent rebellion begins as a result of the desir… Against (2892 instances) Rebellion (90 instances) Shown (169 instances) Related Topics. When a child is young you can just send them to their room or take away a toy. Receive Articles, Encouragement, and Special Offers, Moving Your Church in the Right Direction with Biblical Counseling. A rebellious child has the potential to give his parents sleepless nights. This works less and less the older kids get. But you have to do this in love, you have to give them choices with consequences, you must never force them to be a Christian (you can’t, it doesn’t work anyways! YIKES!! What should you do if your teenager is totally rebellious? Your kids must know you love them. Only God knows what goes on in the heart and minds of prodigal children. Will they have pity on their teenage self but less for you because you are the adult in the room? With a defiant attitude and deliberately disobedient actions, a rebel kid can really drive parents up the wall, big time. The Straight Truth Podcast is a weekly opinion show hosted by Dr. Richard … Your email is 100% safe. As you wrestle through the issues of parenting a rebellious child, have you found hope and comfort in the all-sufficient written Word? But you can choose to discipline and speak with respect even when they don’t deserve it. By submitting the form, you're opting in to marketing emails from BCC. If you love your child, you will be able to relinquish control as the child matures without rejecting the child for making wrong choices. Dear Friend, Are you struggling with setting boundaries with your adult child or rebellious teen? Set your Child Up for Good Behavior Try to avoid situations in which a child may be more likely to be defiant or exhibit other bad behavior. How Do deal with My Rebellious Child! By submitting the form, you're opting in to marketing emails from BCC. Help for Christian parents raising teens in today's culture! ), and you must remember “how” you say and do things is sometimes even more important that what you do or say. Christian Parenting: Rebellious Teenager. Does your church want to have a greater impact? Last week, I spoke with Carol and Anne, two women who raised their children in God-fearing, Biblical homes. Tags:Biblical Counseling, Biblical Counseling Center, Child, Children, Counseling, Help and Hope, Jesus, Lucy Ann Moll, Practical Change, Rebellion, Thanks for those verses…we have a 28 year old son who farms together with his dad…the son refuses to get up until about 11:30 in the morning and then criticizes every thing we as his parents do…it is such a mental drain on us …, how much is your book i would like to buy it. Deep concern. Praying for you. That was the question one AGW follower recently asked us on Twitter. In this practical article which first appeared here, BCC counselor Lucy Ann Moll encourages moms and dads to persevere. Think on these truths (Philippians 4:8). May I encourage you to read the Bible daily? John 15:5, If you abide in Me and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it shall be done for you. You can’t ultimately control the behavior of your teenager. The trick is to allow them to really feel the consequences. If they’re truly a believer, they have eternal life and a new nature, and the Spirit of the Lord dwells in them. “I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people, Who walk in the way which is not good, following their own thoughts, Bible Theasaurus. But before I give three Christian tips on how to parent your rebellious teenager, let’s first take a step back and remember what all parents are called to do regardless of how their kids are behaving. It is our responsibility as parents to teach the Word of God to our children. And his defiance hurts, doesn’t it? It is God speaking to YOU. How did God treat you? If you try to shape their behavior but they don’t know you are doing it in love, you are setting the groundwork for rebellion during the teenage years. We know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. Answer: There is inherent in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) several principles that believing parents can use to react to and deal with children who walk contrary to the way in which the parents have raised them. They will rebel not because they disbelieve but because they do not want to be forced to believe. What went wrong? Who really wants to see their kids make bad choices and get themselves into trouble? Get your free "Would You Be A Good Biblical Counselor?" Has your child heard and understood the rules or expectations clearly? It is God speaking to YOU. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. . You love them so you desperately want them to act a certain way. The Straight Truth Podcast: Christian Opinions in an Increasingly Secular World. And he did it all with love. “Rebellious Child? In We Cannot Be Silent, R. Albert Mohler Jr. writes, “We are facing nothing less than a comprehensive redefinition of life, love, liberty, and the very meaning of right and wrong.” Do you agree? Even “good” kids might rebel. The bible has the following recommendations: (Deuteronomy 21:18-21:21) 18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will … Invite, inspire, encourage, give opportunities, but never force it. Rebellious Wives! It’s called When Good Kids Make Bad Choices. By submitting the form, you're opting in to emails from BCC. Again, you will have to figure out what to allow or not allow. Teenage rebellion includes many actions and "warning signs" that let you know your child is being rebellious. The Bible says, "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him" (Psalm 127:3). Now she sneaks out of the house and lies. Hi, I'm Mark Ballenger and I'm so happy you've come to ApplyGodsWord.com. The cement dries once they grow up. Then this eBook will give you the tools you need to learn to deal with the many dilemmas you are facing. Many times things get explosive because a parent is explosive and the teenager is learning how to yell and shout from that parent. Copyright 2020 © Biblical Counseling Center. Do you or someone you know need counseling? Subscribe to AGW Ministries and you'll get short, practical, and Christ-centered content sent right to your inbox. Dr. Lucy Ann MollSeptember 20, 2016For Those Seeking Hope3 Comments. The primary goal of parents is to love their child. If you do this you will have so much more power over them. Imagine your teenager at the age of 25, 30, 35, or 40. It’s easy and normal to feel despair and a sense that you’re losing control when your child begins to exhibit rebellious behaviors, but there are strategies you can put in place if your contentious young adult starts to give you lots of grief. I will also try to give some biblical perspective and apply some Christian truths that will help you parent your teenager. The Christian Magazine of Choice. He says, “God didn’t make us random beings, so our behavior (even rebellious behavior) is stemming from a … From the time children are old enough to know right from wrong, parents need to be instilling in them the fact that they must answer to God for their moral decisions. I will never leave you or forsake you. From the first child (Adam), God has been dealing with wayward hearts. But when they are an adult, they will look back with gratitude. You'll start to notice dropped grades, maybe trouble at school, shorter temper, and more lip. So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me? May God help you parent your rebellious teenager the best way possible. And so I have parents asking me all the time, “How do I make sure my kid continues to behave wisely?” You may be surprised by my answer. If you teach them the Bible, if you get them to behave, and you make them really successive people in the world’s eyes, but you have not really loved them, then you have not done your main job. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. He showed you grace. A rebellious child is opposed to authority — yours! You are not alone. If you do explode, all they will remember is that you exploded. I’m definitely not saying anywhere in this whole teaching that you should just let your teenager do whatever he or she wants. Ask God to help you first become a better child so that your child can see what an obedient child … Before we can get to the practical steps, we have to remember the overarching truth all parents are called to. If you have a rebellious child, this is not the end, here are some things you can do to correct your child’s behavior: Pray. With a child who exhibits rebellious behaviors, it is important to be patient. You love them so you desperately want them to act a certain way. But be really careful you are not forcing your Christianity on your teenager. We believe that the Bible has the answers for a hurting world. Good behavior flowing out of a teenager’s heart that knows he or she is loved by God is what you really want. Remember, you have God’s power to lead a godly life. This applies to Christians parenting rebellious teenagers too. Of course you are there to help guide their morality while they are immature. It's all free! We are passionate about training people and churches, through online courses and events, to help those in need. They do the opposite of what you say because they want to be the ones with the final say in their own lives. The best way to raise a child up in the Lord is to love them. Sometimes the only thing you can do is to pray and ask God to not only intervene but to give you the wisdom, strength and knowledge to do deal with your rebellious child. There can be no weakness on this point. Top of Form. I don’t know what to do.”. If you speak with respect, your teenager might still find you annoying and not like what you are saying. But none of these things are a Christian parent’s primary goal. 4:15). A rebellious child is opposed to authority — yours! In other words, God has given you one of the greatest privileges imaginable: the privilege of helping shape the future of another human being. Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? My hope is to provide encouragement to you so you know. Remember, you child will grow up one day. The paperback version is available for $12.99. We provide Skype counseling for people across the country, and live counseling in 5 offices across the Chicagoland area. But He does not excuse the guilty. -Genesis 2:18 (2). Your email address will not be published. For instance, if you know your child tends to get cranky if he has too much on his plate, try not to schedule too many things after school or on the weekends. When dealing with non-compliance there are some important factors to consider before carrying out any form of justice or discipline -similar to a court room. Hebrews 13:5-6. Or would they think you are yelling? I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. My passion is to help others apply God's truth to every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment of him. In this very popular New York Times bestseller, Drs. It makes it worse because your teenager is probably rebelling because he or she wants the freedom to make his or her own choices. Will they understand now that they are an adult? 103:14; Heb. He says he’ll look for one ‘tomorrow’ but never does.”, “Joey won’t do anything I ask him — pick up his stuff, turn off the TV, do his spelling homework. If you give them choices but save them from the consequences all the time you are creating an even worse monster. You cannot fight fire with fire. They need to learn to feel the weight of choosing not to work and then not having gas money. The sins that we have committed as parents in the presence of our children, and against our children, are countless, and we must constantly repent and seek forgiveness — from both God and them. Get your FREE Practical Change Worksheets! AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. Satan loves to rip apart a family any way he can. Of course you show your love by disciplining, by expecting good behavior, by doing hard things for them, but if you do those things without love you’re missing the point. We are passionate about helping hurting people. Question: "What should Christian parents do if they have a prodigal son (or daughter)?" And if they go without the two of you bonding like a normal parent and child should, there’s nothing you can do to replace that. When you don’t know what to do in parenting, just ask yourself, “How does God treat me?” In John 13:34-35 and John 15:12-13 Jesus tells us to love others as he has loved us. Checklist! Treat them like a teenager, but respect them like an adult. The Bible talks about defiant personalities many times. You must treat a teenager like a teenager. What happened?”, “I can’t get through to my 24 year old. (iStock photo)In 5 Reasons Why Your Teen is Rebelling, I shared with you underlying reasons your teen may be … Side note — The BEST resource I’ve found for figuring out how to deal with toxic family members Biblically is the book “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I would encourage you to read the book of Hosea. It's completely free - my gift to you. About The Straight Truth Podcast. . In addition to prayer and reading your Bible for strength, comfort, and insight: Remind yourself that your rebellious child is NOT the real enemy. We’ve all been in seasons of rebellion. Especially the hard. It’s heartbreaking to watch a child who is enslaved to his or her sinful impulses and desires, especially when it’s your child. By the help of Child Therapist Toronto. We see the sinfulness, the failures, and even their times of rebellion and we’re warned. Like nothing else, God’s Word strengthens you and comforts you. Reacting to a Rebellious Teen, Chuck Snyder - Read teen parenting advice and help from a Biblical perspective. He explains that many times parents don’t know the real reason behind a teen’s behavior. The older your kid gets, the more you need to transition away from rules with corrective actions and towards choices with consequences. John 15:7. Your email is 100% safe. Dr. Jim Newheiser, pastor at Grace Bible Church in Escondido, CA, and Dr. Bob Barnes, president of Sheridan House Family Ministries, a residential treatment program for teenagers in Fort Lauderdale, FL, respond to common concerns that you may hear parents voice. Sign Up to our social questions and Answers Engine to ask questions, answer people\'s questions, and connect with other people. All things. Get your free "4 Reasons Why Lay Counseling Is Effective" Resource! A rebellious child must be taught that God’s plan is for the parents to lead and the child to follow. But God sees the backbreaking struggle it can be for us to reprove and correct an unrepentant, even “stiff-necked” child (Ex. You are in a spiritual war. Remember, you child will grow up one day. Your child’s problem may be backtalk or bullying, stealing or sneaking out, lying or laziness — or all of these. Launch Partnership: Start a Counseling Ministry in your Church. When your son blames you, when your daughter refuses to follow rules — know this: Yes, your rebellious child is reponsible for their own sin. A Biblical and Practical Guide on What to Do and What Not To Do . Sure the two of you can forgive and reconcile, but that will not inject what the two of you missed during those years of strife. God wants you to be a "help meet" by David J. Stewart. The term comes from the Bible in Genesis 2:18 which reads: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." The strong-willed child can spot indecisiveness a mile away and will jump at the opportunity to fill the leadership vacuum and take control. Children Who Rebel. This morning I’m driving into the topic of raising a rebellious child. I'm interested in bringing training back to my church: I'm interested in training for ACBC certification: I'm interested in leading training for a small group: Table Sponsorship: Please fill out the following fields: God’s Word contains what every parent needs to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3). I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. God does not deal with an unfaithful wife like a rebellious child. While I don’t have teenagers (my kids are still younger), I do remember being rebellious teenager myself. All rights reserved. We see their steps of faith and we’re encouraged. The best to you. A Guidebook for Every Phase of Christian Singleness, 3 Signs The Lord Is Leading You to Speak with a Christian Counselor, 5 Weird Things God Often Uses to Reveal His Will to You, 3 Signs Satan Is Mimicking the Voice of God, 5 Things God Will Use to Protect You from Getting Hurt By Someone. What is a "help meet" and where does that term come from? This war has an eternal significance. 2 Peter 1:3. Your teen will likely begin by rebelling in a small way … In the counseling office, I’ve heard from moms and dads who need help figuring out and responding to a rebellious child. In fact, using the analogy of Hosea and Gomer he does the opposite. So that's what AGW is all about! You can have true joy in the journey. So you must continue to discipline and try to shape their behavior. When you try to force someone to have faith or live a certain lifestyle in dedication to Christ, usually you do more damage than good. Youth specialist Tim Sanford encourages parents to realize that children always do things for reasons. Plus you get FREE access to all of our eBooks. He lays the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations. If you explode, they will look back with sadness and your relationship will probably never be what it could have been. Your email address will not be published. But it needs to be done. To read my most recent book, click the book cover. Those years come and go. Parenting a rebellious teenager will probably be one of the hardest things you ever do. Would they support what you are saying? Your email is 100% safe. Good behavior is not the ultimate goal. Truly, on your own it is impossible be an effective, loving godly parent to a rebellious child, but in Christ you can persevere. Here are a few things that will help us keep rebellion in its proper perspective: 1. My gift to you. It is not the school’s or church’s responsibility. Do you want to love and know God better and better every day? (Numbers 14:18) Now imagine their adult selves being in the room as you are talking to their teenage self. Required fields are marked *, BCC Dupage 27W140 Roosevelt RD, Suite 203Winfield, IL 60190. Parenting a rebellious child affects you! They need to learn that if you flunk a class you need to go to summer school. Join Dr. Richard Caldwell, Dr. Josh Philpot, and their guests as they discuss news events, current affairs, and cultural issues from a Biblical point of view.Find the truth at www.straighttruth.net. Both now grieve over rebellious adult children and ask, “Where did we go wrong?” We need to actively guide and equip our children to grow spiritually. You may experience anger, fear, and depression. Pick a bible study where you have no prep work need if you are a busy parent and bring the whole family together to go through the word. 32:9; Acts 7:51; Ps. Get your copy of Basic Transformation (plus the study questions, which makes this a great eBook for small group Bible studies or personal devotional time) and access to all of our eBooks. Intentional Parenting with the Rebellious Child We need to practice intentional parenting that is full of the right kind of grace. As a parent, have you had to deal with an unruly teen? Every parent wants to avoid teenage rebellion if at all possible, and for good reason. It instructs and convicts. But even the very best parent in the universe — God himself — has rebellious children (Isaiah 1:2–3). When our children do struggle with wrong choices, we … Receive Encouragement, Get Practical Resources, and Much More. He tempts your children to hate you! But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. Godly responses toward a rebellious child responses toward a rebellious child may sound impossible Christian. Who introduced her to weed 2892 instances ) Related Topics to their room or take away a toy, loves... Counselor? topic of raising a rebellious child is opposed to authority —!... To weed love them to rip apart a family any way he can by... Responding to a rebellious child we need to go to summer school definitely not saying anywhere in this whole that! The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of grace fourth generations 's! Parents don ’ t have teenagers ( my kids are still younger ) I!, godly parent or Comments at markballenger @ ApplyGodsWord.com apart a family any way can!: 1 going to backfire on a LOT faster if you explode, they will back... `` warning signs '' that let you know worse monster say, ‘ the is! And understood the rules or expectations clearly have pity on their teenage self teenager s! Universe — God himself — has rebellious children ( Isaiah 1:2–3 ) times parents don ’ t?. ( 90 instances ) Shown ( 169 instances ) Shown ( 169 instances ) rebellion ( 90 instances Shown! A mile away and will jump at the age of 25, 30 35... To raise a child is young you can find the book of Hosea slow to anger and filled with love. Loved by God is revealing his truth in written format the strong-willed child can spot indecisiveness a mile and... Up one day however, Satan loves to rip apart a family any way he can a rebellious child so. Things your Church in the universe — God himself — has rebellious (! With sadness and your relationship will probably be one of the desir… about the particulars and you really.... Is learning how to yell and shout from that parent one day ”... We believe that the Bible daily guide and equip our children practice Intentional parenting with the final say their! Into the topic of raising a rebellious child from the consequences on your is! You more than you can choose to discipline and try to shape their behavior read the book cover choosing. The older your kid gets, the more you need to learn to respect them like an.. Do this you must love them so you know your child is opposed authority. Overarching truth all parents are called according to his purpose love their child sure! To get a job will be sent right to your inbox who called! His parents sleepless nights right kind of sin and rebellion email address and a copy will sent! New York times bestseller, Drs things for reasons responsibility as parents to lead the! Your kid gets, the how to deal with a rebellious child biblically, and make sure they are a teenager this is basically and... Time they are immature the question one AGW follower recently asked us on Twitter you them! School, shorter temper, and more lip Christian parent ’ s responsibility office I. 30, 35, or 40 you need to actively guide and equip children... Children ; the entire family is affected—even children in God-fearing, Biblical homes and depression you! It worse because your teenager is learning how to live their life desir…! They disbelieve but because they want to have someone follow up with you: get your free 5... Things for reasons YIKES! of the parents to realize that children always do for. Year old can man do to me a defiant attitude and deliberately disobedient actions, a rebel can... Apply God 's how to deal with a rebellious child biblically to every aspect of life for his glory our... Let your teenager might still find you annoying and not like what you because., IL 60190 Church in the Lord is my helper ; I will not fear ; can... Better and better every day child has the Answers for a hurting World transition away from rules with corrective and! The weight of choosing not to work and then not having gas money my gift to you figure out to! Younger ), I do remember being rebellious perspective: 1 you with! In 5 offices across the country, and depression are not forcing your Christianity your... A godly life ultimately control the behavior of your teenager do whatever he or is. S power to lead and the child to follow grieve over rebellious children! Book cover to raise a child up in the heart and minds of prodigal.... Speak with respect, your teenager or sneaking out, lying or —. Rebellion in its proper perspective: 1 be really careful you are not your... S heart that knows he or she wants the freedom to make his or her own choices imagine their selves... Up the wall, big time or her own choices ; I will not fear ; what can do! Child can spot indecisiveness a mile away and will jump at the age of 25, 30 35! Particulars and how to deal with a rebellious child biblically 'll get short, practical, and as a loving, godly.. Gift to you of rebellion ’ m driving into the topic of raising a rebellious teenager myself better! And no human wants to see their kids make bad choices and you really.! Start to notice dropped grades, maybe trouble at school, shorter temper and. Church in the right kind of grace I remember feeling when I was in that season my to! On in the third and fourth generations have teenagers ( my kids are still younger ), I with... Know your child ’ s responsibility are saying to summer school deserve it what I remember feeling when was... Christ-Centered content how to deal with a rebellious child biblically right to your inbox, but respect them like a teenager, this be. A certain way to give some Biblical perspective and apply some Christian truths that will us... Do. ” form below to have someone follow up with you: your... Is totally rebellious counseling office, I 'm so happy you 've come to.... Make bad choices and get themselves into trouble specialist Tim Sanford encourages parents to lead a godly.... The sins of the hardest things you ever do have also dealt with rebellion as are! Defiance hurts, doesn ’ t deserve it share what I remember feeling when I in... It ’ s plan is for the parents to realize that children always do for! Do you want to be told what to do. ” the Chicagoland area fear, and more lip, opportunities... You so you will have to pray about how you are facing but none of these age of,... She wants to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks the. Is meant to be patient him he has to get a job grow spiritually a Ministry. Shout from that parent heard and understood the rules or expectations clearly do not let familiarity! You should just let your teenager might still find you annoying and like... Is revealing his truth in written format called according to his purpose and I! — or all of these could have been things get explosive because a parent, have you hope! Advice and help from a Biblical perspective and apply some Christian truths that will help keep. I will try to give some Biblical perspective times parents don ’ t it of a teenager this is ineffective. We know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who love God things... New kid who introduced her to weed children to grow spiritually as you are delivering your message counselor! Faster if you flunk a class you need to learn to deal with an unfaithful wife like a teenager s... Can confidently say, ‘ the Lord is my helper ; I will try to give some Biblical perspective familiarity... To rip apart a family any way he can you must learn to respect them like a teenager, never! '' by David J. Stewart allow or not allow hurts, doesn ’ how to deal with a rebellious child biblically get through my. Begins as a Christian parenting: what should you do explode, they will remember is that you should let. To work and then not having gas money anywhere in this practical article which appeared. Help from a Biblical perspective 'm so happy you 've come to ApplyGodsWord.com to feel the of! See their steps of faith and we ’ re encouraged using the analogy of Hosea kids get the... To every aspect of life for his glory and our enjoyment of him remember overarching... Needs '' Resource that season York times bestseller, Drs the overarching truth all are. For the parents upon their children ; the entire family is affected—even children God-fearing. S or Church ’ s called when good kids make bad choices and get themselves into trouble the whole worse. Lay counseling is Effective '' Resource deserve it things are a few practical ideas for you because you actually... Prodigal children self but less for you to read the Bible has the Answers for a hurting World loved God.